Here are some things I learned over time in my career. I share them now with hopes that you don't have to learn them the hard way.
Lesson
One: That some battles aren’t
worth fighting no matter how right you are. I bloodied my nose many times
before I realized that getting my way didn’t matter as much as the
relationships involved, and if I had the right relationships, the right things
got done. Later I actually learned that there is no right way—just my way and
your way. At least 50 % of our work-related drama starts with the word ‘they’,
as in “they don’t get it!”
Lesson
Two: That soft skills are really
the hardest to teach. I’m proud of the fact that there is some awareness
now that the important skills can’t be taught in a “lunch and learn” or by
using a leader’s guide, but need to be coached over time. Stay the course on
this one, please!
Lesson
Three: That it is smarter to go
where the energy is than to try to change the world. This one came to me slowly
and in waves. I’d get it and then get all puffed up again about a great idea
that I knew would save the firm and then wonder why I had a bruised forehead. Learn
to recognize real buy-in, not lip-service, or what I coined “the executive
nod”. Realize that in a partnership you can’t get anything big done without a committed sponsor. Find your champions and lock
arms. And, remember that in this firm, leaders come and go. Deliberately build
a broad sponsor base for what you value.
Lesson
Four: That everyone is hungry to
be seen and heard and just as afraid as you are to be vulnerable. Oh, the
conversations I’ve been privy to! When I taught coaching at EY, I’d hear APT
professionals say, “But I can’t have that kind of conversation with a
leader.” News flash: the leaders are the hungriest to have those conversations,
but just like you, they need to feel safe. Be safe.
Lesson
Five: That true leadership
vision is rare and courage even rarer, but if you find a leader with both,
he/she will have vocal critics and could use a friend. Given the success of
the firm, I was amazed at what seemed to me to be the short-term focus of many
of our leaders and their propensity to herd mentality. I suspect that it stems
from their operating in a fiscal world that is measured in quarters and that as
accountants they are trained to manage risk. However, I believe that true
leaders stand on a foundation of operational excellence, but see what is
possible and motivate others to do what hasn’t been done before. Those leaders
will feel scared and alone in their boldest moments. Cheer them on!
Lesson
Six: That change often provides
the greatest opportunities. I learned early in life not to be afraid of
change, but to trust that I would land on my feet. I had the honor of wearing
seven different hats in my 13 years at EY—sometimes more than one at a time—and
many of those hats were given to me because I recognized a need and boldly
said, “I can do that”. Fortunately, in most cases, I actually figured out how
to do it once I got the hat! I get tired of APT members asking me about career
paths. To me, defined career paths are boring. Well-worn paths soon become ruts.
Listen to what the firm needs and look for the intersection of those needs with
your interests and talents. Then tell somebody who cares. They are out there
and waiting for you to raise your hand.
Lesson
Seven: That sometimes all we do
is plant seeds. The outcome of our work is so intangible. We don’t make
widgets. We don’t even close the books on a quarter. We help people deal with
challenges. I’ve had conversations that I didn’t think amounted to anything,
only to have someone tell me years later, “Remember when you told me X? It
changed my life”! Not only do I not remember having said that, unfortunately,
sometimes I don’t even recognize the person!
I recently had a conversation with
a retired EY leader that underlined for me how hard we are on ourselves if we
don’t see immediate results to complex issues. So much so that we sometimes
fail to appreciate how important the seeds are that we’ve planted. I was trying
to tell her how many people have commented to me that she changed the direction
of their careers and all she could say was that she was so glad to not be
beating her head against the wall anymore on the initiative she tried to push.
We do our best every day and can
only hope that it makes an impact. If you want something more tangible, take up
knitting.
Lesson
Eight: That perseverance is the
number one quality for your success. I hold the firm’s record for the
number of white papers written on a single topic. At one point I gave up using
a blank document and started cutting and pasting from things I’d written years
before. No one noticed. Timing is
everything. The America’s Executive Coaching Team is an overnight success—only
13 years in the making!
Lesson
Nine: That if you lead from your
ego, or conversely, need external validation, you should find another job.
Two sides of the coin are expressed here. I will never be comfortable with
people who lead from their ego, especially in roles like ours. (And be
especially cautious of people who repeatedly tell you that they don’t lead from
their ego!) I’ve been known to say, “Get over yourself” or “It’s not about you”
to myself and to many new coaches.
The biggest struggle for me, though,
was the other side of the coin—the need for validation. I’m a recognition whore.
I love being praised and like it even more in public. What I’ve learned, though,
is that excellence is only the price of admission at EY and that like the
husband who told his wife when she asked why he didn’t tell her he loved her—“I
told you once. I’ll let you know if it changes”—praise is a scarce commodity at
EY. Don’t go to a dry well looking for water. If you need validation, surround
yourself with people who know how to show appreciation. And be one of those
people yourself.
And, finally…
Lesson
Ten: That the average
consultant—PC, DC, PL, COE leader—has a shelf-life of about seven years unless
you are a voracious learner. Hopefully, you came into your job because of a
level of expertise. However, if you aren’t constantly building that expertise,
at the end of 7 years you have one year of experience 7 times instead of 7
years experience that deepens your foundational knowledge. The world changes
fast and you have to change, not to keep up, but to keep out in front. It’s
great if you have the budget to attend a conference a year, but if you don’t,
that’s no excuse for not learning. There’s a wealth of information available
online, in books, free or cheap telecourses and as a by-product of
conversations with your really smart colleagues. I read a great quote about
aging that relates to what I’m talking about here: “aging is inevitable; it
starts when you are born; growing old is optional”. Don’t stagnate; keep learning.
The final message I’d like to leave you with today is that
others may continue to question your value, but you can’t afford to. You have
great work to do and you don’t need permission or a project plan to do it. All
you need is to care about this firm, its leaders, its people and each other and
what needs to happen, will. I came into the firm wanting to make a difference
and hoping to influence the direction we took. I’m not sure how much positive change
I created, but I know how much I changed. Each of you in your own way
influenced and changed me. I will always be grateful.
So, I will close with the immortal words of Kung Fu Panda—“Honestly,
I didn’t think I’d make it this far!”
Thank you.
